wanting to cry..but i cant

omg..
i jus wanna cry..

the feeling of not fitting in..it just sucks..i hate it..i work so hard to finally be able to fit in wit cousiins so that they dun bully me or threat me diff..or even give me hints that they dun like me..
how can i be happy..when im tormented all the time..in the house..in ipoh..everywhere..
will i ever get the respect i deserve..

looking beneath the ugly

the truth time has arrived..
the question is..do u ever reli see beyond the ugly..
how many of you out there actually agree..
not many of course..
guys dun go for the girls wit amazing personalities..they go for the good-looking ones..maybe their way of admitting it is the only way of helping them feel better about themselves..
so does it really pay of..being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside..wat do u get? and answers from the wealthy and beautiful people arent exactly counted..
so to those of you who think that ur ugly on the outside n pretty on the inside..wat do u say?
cause from me..it does help..bein ugly outside n pretty inside..cause a person wit an ugly attitude ca always work on it for free..but an ugly person like me..has no choice..

wel..wat about those who r ugly n to top it of..because of all the teasing and everything they become bad on the inside..is that jus?is that even fair..i dun think so.

missing school... ya rite.. when the holidays start many people are always like ..omg..i hate te hols ...i wanna go back to school..i wana meet my friends..so try to help me understand why i dun feel the same way.. and why im so horribly horrified by the fact that school is goin to start and my life as i knoe is goin to be a living hell..

well yesterday rite...
while i was sleeping..i had the best dream i hav ever had in my entire life

krish
my hubby
esfern
my hubby dad

well it started off wit me dating this reli sweet , kind and hot guy..we had been dating for like 5 years..and on our 5th anniversary he propose..
dialoque:

---at candle light dinner wit onli him n i in a small room..all prepard by him---

omg i think i forgot sumthing today
its ok i dun think u did..hey do u knoe i want to spend my life wit u ..
huh??y do u say so all of a sudden
well we hav been together for soo long..n i want to knoe(he kneels) if u will marry me
omg omg..r u proposing..
ya it may seem so..
urm but i hav to get my parents permision..wat if they say no..n omg your parents..wat if they hate me..

[parents (mine n his) walk out..we approved..]

scream--shout--omg im getting married..
then music plays..my favourite song..suddenly there is this voice..oomg its me ..like 2 years ago when he asked me how i wanted to get married..it went like this:

hey krish how would u like to get married??
i dunno..i alwayz wanted a small wedding in hawaii with jus my family n urs n close friends..actually i want to get married like how nathan n haley got married in one tree hill..(sounds cheesy but not in my dream)
i hope i will be able to give u tat

then he says..

so do u want tat wedding..
ya..but i mean we arent exactly rich
but i am..so we r off to hawaii then..
oomg..dun lie ok.. dun lie..
im not lying..i love u ..n im gonna make ur dream come true..

scream ..suddenly esfern calls..

oomg hi esfern..
-crying-omg he was cheating on me..im so sori i din believe u krish..
its ok esfern..hey i hav good news
me breaking up wit him is not good news krish..
i knoe..but im getting maried
omg dun lie..i cant believe it..ok wait ..maybe i can..u guys were meant to be anywayz
thanks..so u wanna go hawaii..
obviously..-scream-




--then--

esfern , soph, my sisters n i go shopping for dresses..
saw this gorgeous lavender dress for the dinner party n this beautiful satin plus lace dress(white)


after the wedding i was so happy..we slowdanced n had so much fun


we went to our room..oh btw..his father owns a hotel okey..so the room we had was actually a penthouse..a 2 floor penthouse in a hotel..freaking nice wei..

later on we went to the beach ..suddenly this paparazi jumps out..saying hey sir who is tat girl u were kissing(meaning me)..

omg who was tat..y did we hav to run from him.. y was he calling u sir..
ok..i wanted to avoide this topic until at least next week but i hav to tell u sumthing..
i started to cry..wat is it??
well u knoe tat guy 7 years ago who went missing in amerika whose father was reli rich n owned a hotel..n he was a worldclass basketballer..
uhuh ya ...wat about him
well tat is me
wat the hell ..y din u tell me..
i was afraid u wouldnt love me the way u do..
well i still love u now rite..
wait..but dun u earn like 2.5 million or more a year..
ya..y??
were r rich..
ya kinda..
omg..ok..i love u cause of u ..not cause of ur money..ok
ok


i wish this dream comes true..i reli reli wish..
so to tat guy in my dream..whom did not state his name..im waiting for u ..hehe

never again

NEVER AGAIN ' s

ok..so this is my list of never again's

i will never fall for a jerk

i will never let myself be persuaded to do sumthin i dun wanna do

i will never let others bring me down

i will never stop myself from being myself

i will never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams

i will never show sympathy from those who dont do the same

i will never let my depression b taken out on food

i will never fall to the feet of others

lastly..

i will never say never..cause eventually i knoe i might do it..

2 angsana babes

ok im back..its kinda obvious im gonna talk bout my best friends...
here they are

ESFERN n SOPHIA

im gonna start wit my best freind since last here...esfern..


believe me she has been through her share of ups n downs this year..but i guess rite now she is

ups..well tis amazing gal has been there for me throughout this year..i so so love her..i think

withoout her i would hav lost my way..hav u ever wanted a friend to alwayz be there for u ..n

not be fake or lie to u ..n jus be themselves..well esfern is the one..now im gonna tell u more bout

her..well i dun knoe much cause i onli met her last year..she is the same age as me ..she is super

hot..she is funny , smart , cool , willing to do anything for others..i think if i had to go on..it would

take all nite..well from the beginning of this year we all knoe tat esfern was reli sad cause of

sumthin..but i am proud n hapi to tell everyone tat she is back n she is hapi..so i jus wanna

congratulate u for ur get together wit ..*ahem* *ahem*..i jus want u to knoe tat i would be a

very sad n depressed gir witout u .. i absolutely cherish all u hav done for me..n all ur

advise..thank you..


next...


soph..

well soph n i started of last year as enemies..to tell u the truth i hated her..but i am so hapi we

got through tat whole episode n r back as not onli friends but best best friends..soph as everyone

knoes is our age..she is also hot n cool..n kinda poppularity consious..hehe..soph has this weird

thinking tat she is fat n ugly..no idea how she got tat idea..cause it is absolutely absurd..causse

she is gorgeous n an amazing gal..soph i wanted u to knoe tat i appreciate all u hav done for

me..n i am sure i would be so so sad if we werent in the same class..cause everyday u come into

class wit either the same problem but worst or a funny joke tat kees a smile on my face

throughoout the day..soph i hope u knoe i luv ya ..


honestly..if there was an award for best friend in the world..they at least need to be nominated..not to win..but nominated..hehe..well to tell u the truth u guys may not win ..cause there r people out there willing to die for their friends..but im sure u guys would do tat for me..but hopefully we r never put in tat psition..lastly i wanted to tell u guys tat u win that award in my book..

i owe u guys big time..for everything...especially bein able to put up wit my bad moods n all..

my neighbours

its all bout us...

see no evil...speak no evil..hear no evil..so sick of smelling evil..

WENDY..KRISH..WERN..BEL

wendy: huh..u want me to read!!!wait!!!how do i do tat???


krish: i am so freaking bored..y dont i eat my book..

poly: OMG..i understand..but all the words seem so ...urm..upsidedown..

(check out the upside down book )

bel: dont worry im paying attention..oopsss..fell asleep..but at least i look serious..

ME...WENDY..POLY/WERN..BEL

well tis is us..the lin seng babes..but we r missing sab n thiv..well sab was busy chatting so..her loss..OMG..i look so tall next to them..check out me wit the fan..

me...BEL..SAB

these r the wackiest among all of the neighbours..bel is like so nice..she is my runner coach..she may look little but she is fast..sab is the same age as bel..form4.. she owns loads of dvd's..

WENDY n i

so tis is wendy..we r the same age..but she is in sri aman..she is reli cool plus she is a fast runner..faster than me..hehe

WERN n i

hey everyone jus wanted u guys to get to knoe my neighbour..she is damn nice n she is a total poser...hehe hav u checked out her blog..wow!!she can define POSER..